Take two bags of tea. What kind? Doesn't really matter. (I'm particular to Mango or Rocky Raccoon Root Beer flavours.) Add to boiling water.
Allow the water to boil with the tea bags in it for five minutes while gathering and preparing the other ingredients.
In one large mug, consolidate the following:
One teaspoon brown sugar, one teaspoon honey.
One half-teaspoon white sugar, one half-teaspoon icing sugar.
Approximately 200 grams of peanut butter and 100 grams of cream
cheese, to be spread off into the side of the mug.
One tablespoon cocoa powder, one half-teaspoon Ovaltine powder.
Steep the tea, then fill the mug to the two-thirds mark.
Float a dozen raisins and four to a half-dozen coffee beans. Wait until they stop bobbing up and down. (If you have any peanuts or Smarties, they perform admirably in this function as well.)
Allow a few minutes for the cheese and peanut butter to soften, then stir with a carrot stick.
Shake cinnamon over the mug.
Once the concoction is sufficiently agitated and mixed, add one slice of cheddar cheese (the aged kind, not processed balloon cheese) either on top of the mug (with a hole cut for the steam to escape) or curved snug against the interior of the mug.
Allow a further five minutes for the mixture to cool.
Drink slowly, savoring the way the flavour changes as you hold it in your mouth. Once the liquid is drained, the cup can be refilled and stirred to produce a similar, though slightly diminished, experience to the first mug. (Do not eat the raisins or the coffee beans.) Any replenishment to be made to revitalize the flavour will probably be honey, icing sugar, cocoa powder and cinnamon. Nibble a second slice of cheese slowly as you sip each mouthful of the tea.
Once you are satisfied with the tea and have drunk it all, you can scoop the goop at the bottom out with the carrot stick. The raisins should be pleasantly imbued with the tea, as will the slice of cheese. Be aware that the coffee beans will still taste quite bitter should you eat them, so you may wish to remove them from the peanut butter before consuming the remainder of the concoction.
-Discovery made in summer 1995 in a cabin with Zamfir Worshipper and Slartibartfast. Their tea was dissappointingly less interesting than mine.-
Be sure to clear the kitchen before you start this repast - you'll be using all four burners and the counter will be pretty crowded. You may also want to keep the door/window open - it'll get pretty hot in there - but if using a gas stove be sure to check that an errant breeze doesn't blow out a burner.
Many of the steps in this recipe can be left out, or substituted with other ingrediants. However, I have tried to be clear on matters of import.
Ready? All right.
Put on two small and two large pots of water. Two cups boiling in one, four in one, and two thirds full for the big pots. When the small pots come to a boil, add a small package of oriental (Ichiban, etc.) noodles (choose to match the genotype of soup - read below - but vegetable goes with most everything) to the small pot and two packages of macaroni and cheese in the one with more water. Prepare them as per instructions. When they are finished, drain them until most of the water is gone (but some remains) and leave them on the counter with the lids on.
(Note: when preparing macaroni and cheese, using sour cream yields much better results than just water or milk to dilute the orange powdery stuff. Also, when preparing the noodles, keep the broth.)
Pull the two larger pots (still boiling) to the front burners and add two more large two-thirds full pots to the rear burners. Add salt and some oil to all of the pots to speed boiling temperatures and to make less chance of stickage later on. When the front two come to a boil, add whole potatoes to one and perogies to the other. (A majority of cheddar perogies are preferrable, with bacon and potato also acceptable, but stay away from the oniony ones.) Also to the perogys may be added the frozen vegetables - frozen corn, peas in smaller quantities, green beans in still smaller quantities, and for those of you particular to frozen carrot cross-sections, go for it.
(Note: if perogys [a ukranian dumpling filled with cheese, potatoes and other such stuffings] are not available, pot-stickers make an excellent substitute, though they are better fried than boiled. Also, to speed the cooking process, the bags of frozen food may thaw while you boil the water, or you may even add the frozen stuffs to the water while it is in the process of working itself up to a boil.)
Let the potatoes boil. (Ideally the potatoes may have been boiled the previous night - then refridgerated or no. They don't spoil. You can keep them on the back porch if you want. If so, this step is superfluous.) Take them off when you think that they are done - you can drain them if you want or not - it doesn't make much of a difference. If you are waiting for something else to boil, the potatoes may be sliced (not too thin - they'll be stirred later.) The perogies will be ready when they float to the surface - the vegetables should be ready substantially earlier but overcooking the veggies won't hurt them a great deal. Drain the perogies once they are boiled or they will burst and lose their fillings in the water, but be careful when draining/straining not to let vegetables go down the drain with the water. Take those two pots off and put on the counter next to the macaroni and cheese and the noodles, all with their lids on.
Haul up the two rear pots to the front burners and turn off the rear ones. In the first pot goes the pasta. Spaghetti is acceptable for this sort of thing but a flatter noodle such as linguini or fettucini works better to retain the sauce (more on that later.) Lasagna noodles (ricotti) may be substituted as well, though they take much longer to cook. Avoid pasta with a filling such as tortellini or ravioli, unless it be combined with some mother such form of noodle. Penne and the shells work particularly well, delighting both in texture, consistancy and sauce retainage.
With that dissertation on noodles out of the way, you can focus your attention on the other pot. In this pot you will wish to boil packaged instant chicken noodle soup (or chicken broth in cubes or what have you) - chicken broth with small, insubstantial noodles and green things floating in it. Once the soup is boiled (stir the pasta in the other pot once in a while) you will be adding rice to this pot. The rice goes in while the soup is still in, so that when the rice softens it will absorb the soup like a sponge and retain its flavour. A good rule of thumb for cooking rice is that the rice to water ratio should be 1 to 2.
When the pasta is completed, drain it (adding a scoop of margarine or butter or what have you to prevent it from clumping first) and leave it on the countertop, lid closed to retain heat. There should be no remaining water in the rice, it having either absorbed or evaporated what water remained, so that can also go on the counter. Gee, that counter is getting pretty crowded.
Now you can deal with the final step: the sauce. I generally throw together three kinds of soup from any of those 'hearty' (Campbell, Chunky, Habitant) soup companies. The kinds of soups that you throw together are important. Keep birds together - Chicken Noodle soup can be added to Chicken Vegetable, Turkey, Chicken Supreme, or Garden Vegetable (vegetable flavours being neutral in all cases) and in like terms keep red meats (Beef, Vegetable Beef, Steak and Potato) together as well.
(Note: Don't worry about combining meaty stews with the soup-saturated rice; the flavour won't be distinct enough to cause a conflict.)
Combine the three types of soups together in one large pot. (Stay away from tomato or cream-based soups as they tend to overwhelm other flavours.) It will take a while to cook but this will give you time to compensate for the clashing tastes with your spices. If you're going to season it, so it big, because subtlties will be lost in this swirl. Cheese can (and should) be grated in - cheddar, as always, in large quantities; romano (or, if unavailable, parmesan) grated in ludicrous quantities. For an interesting taste shift, throw in a largish hunk of brie or camembert - but take off the wax first. Spices can be used to alter the overall taste but to have any noticable effect they have to be extremes. Garlic chips / garlic salt is a good suggestion, as is oregano and tabasco sauce. Stay away from basil, as that will make the mix suitable only for the pasta. Salt and pepper both are encouraged to be used in prodigal quantities, as is paprika, if available. When you find a flavour that you like, don't change it any more. Make sure that the spices are well mixed in.
The stew part is where much can also just be tossed in. Sliced hot dogs, french fries, meatloaf, scrambled eggs, and pretty much anything sitting in the freezer, any leftovers in the fridge or particularly food brought back from restaurants can be tossed in, barring the exceptions of seafood. Adding in a few crisp lettuce leaves adds refreshing texture.
At this point, toss in the macaroni and cheese and the oriental noodles, as well as possibly loose vegetables salvageable from the perogies. Sliced potatoes can also be tossed into the stew, if there is sufficient room. Mix it all in well, then set the heat to 'low'.
Here's the tricky part. In a bowl, mix milk and flour (my mom uses Bisquick) to a paste-like consistancy. Drop dollops of the paste on top of the sauce and cover for perhaps 15 minutes. When you lift the lid, they will have become dumplings!
Providing that you don't in fact have a cauldron massive enough to dump everything into, you should eat out of a large bowl with the different staged layered as such: Perogies and potatoes on the bottom, pasta around those, rice (which will seep into available space), and then slosh the sauce all around those. Be sure to grate some unmelted cheese on top of the mix along with more salt and pepper and eat until your heart explodes.
The combined contents of the pots (the sauce is the only one which really needs to be refridgerated provided that it is eventually taken off of 'low' on the stove) should last a single person from three days to a week. With guests, it may go marginally faster. Do not eat food which still bubbles more than a half hour after being taken off heat or which has grown dumplings of its own since you last ate.
This does create quite a lot of pots (some ingredients may be prepared in the same pot but in many circumstances this results in flavour impurities present in the final mix, once each individual morsel has been cooked in its own right.) so be careful when you're cooking the stuff. Burning the food after all that effort is quite a waste and scraping the burnt offering off of the pots is quite raunchy after the predicted three to four days. Let pots soak before trying to wash them.
Disclaimer: You should be quite regular after sticking to this regiment for two or three days. Consider yourselves warned.
How many of you have blenders at home? (Watches sea of hands.) How often do you use it? Twice, three times a year? You can make a meal every day with this baby. Here's the secret.
First, put six or seven ice cubes in the bottom of the blender. Ice cream is next - stick to chocolate or vanilla as a base. Then, toss in frozen fruit, if available. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries all qualify. Fresh or canned fruit should go above that - bananas, peaches, marachino cherries. Pour in milk until it reaches the top level of the ice cubes. Any syrups - fructol, maple syrup, etc. can be poured into the milk at this point. Then, add fruit juices: orange juice (freshly squeezed works best), cranberry juice, juice left in the tins and jars that you got the fruits from. If you pour in some lemon juice, compensate by scooping in some (lots of) white sugar. If too much sugar is added, you can compensate by adding some cocoa powder.
(Note: If you want to create an interesting texture, you can add some fairly flavour-neutral things such as apples, pears or carrots which will add a fine pulp to the mix.)
Blend on the highest setting until everything has been sliced, diced, and made into french fries. There should be a thick layer of foam on top. Dip a spoon into it and take a taste, as a precaution. Sometimes something will be called for at this stage - generally involving sweetness or lack thereof. Pour three or four glasses and start over again, or pour into a pitcher half-full of straight juice like orange juice and you have a something will be called for at this stage - generally involving sweetness or lack thereof. Pour three or four glasses and start over again, or pour into a pitcher half-full of straight juice like orange juice and you have a refreshing half/half mixture.
While the original recipe had cat saliva, green beans and multivitamins in it, the recipe generally shouldn't change from the form discussed here.
And why is it called blue? The final ingredient involved a substantial quantity of food colouring... drove the guests nuts wondering what turned it that colour.
Disclaimer: may cause hallucinations and plunge into cyclothemic manic-depression. If condition persists, get a kitten.