"this base is pretty lame.."
-Snowheed (comment on tabflame)
Does everyone have that seasonal mood disorder thingy? (where you feel really
good during Summer, but when Fall/Winter comes around you just feel like shit.)
There seems to be a lot of negative energy everywhere around me (woo.. how very
spiritual of you Candide.)
I'm guessing that it's around you too. (?)
Where is this sense of 'hopelessness' coming from?
"I almost ran over an angel..."
-Tori Amos (on my stereo right now)
I think everyone should go take a dip in a cold lake (a skinny dip).
I'm going to come over to everyone's house, and kidnap you, and take you off
somewhere. We'll go break into Playland, and wel turn on all the rides that
we want to go on. and we'll just ride them all until we puke.
We'll find the joy that those rides used to bring us, and memories will flood
your mind and you'll cry, but no one will be there to laugh at you. We'll all
get into some kind of circle/link and we'll just have one of those group hug
things, and no one will bring up the subject of chatboarders, or warez, or
"hongers", or whatever racial/sexual/mind set prejudice that you have.
Anything that is bothering you will be swept away with your tears, and all that
you will feel will be a mix between exctasy, orgasm, love, inner-peace, and
some kind of sickness in your stomach.. the sickness will come from you
thinking that all your life (except for when you were a baby) that you lived
with all this putridness in your life. you lived it. And now that it is all
gone, your empty.
But like I said, you'll quickly be filled with a mix of love, and happiness,
and whatever. It'll be a better high than you can get from any drug, it'll open
your mind quicker than LSD or meditation.
What a psycho I must be. What a terrible idea to have in such a terrible world.
How dare I be optimistic.
I was reading, that if you are going to slit your wrist you don't go from side
to side (perpendicular to the artery) but length-wise. (parallel) I never
thought about it before. You can go into a drug store, and you can buy some
chemical that will numb the skin, and you won't even feel a thing.
How sick. Gawd.
No! We'll go to a mountain.
We'll go to a mountain with lots of snow on top, and we'll have our inner-tubes
under our arms, and we'll have snowboards, and we'll ski... Everyone will be
laughing as someone starts a snowball fight. Hot chocolate will be poured into
our mugs. We'll go for a walk, we'll admire the beauty of the skyline. Someone
will say "I'm getting tired", and everyone will yawn and agree. People will get
to there hands and knees and will start to build a huge igloo.
We'll be some kind of collective person/entity sleeping inside of that igloo.
There won't be walls dividing us, no one will worry about what others think of
People who can't sleep will tell stories to each other. No one will care if you
and your partner decide to make love. No "gawd, can't you take it somewhere
else?!". Someone will laugh, fall back and knock the walls of the igloo. The
igloo will fall.. fall onto everyone.
People will stand up, brush themselves off and say in a cheery voice "My
genitals are cold", and will grab the person closest to them for warmth as
people with clothing on go and build another igloo.
How about nicotine. Nicotine is lethal. I wonder if I smoke enough, maybe I can
The crack on the streets now is completely lethal. Maybe I'll save
up some money, and I'll inject myself with enough to kill me.
"This is necessary. Life feeds on life"
Did you know, nothing matters anymore?
No one seems to give a damn what happens.
It's elite to say this shit now.
Because you're conscious now.
You've got an opposable thumb.
You non-conformists are all non-alike.
"Hey dude. That's deep"
-Me (said in a mocking voice to myself)
It's all deep. Nothing is as it seems, everything has got a meaning behind it.
Nothing is meaninglessness.
Meat. Meat is the body.
Mind. Mind has nothing to do with meat.
"God sometimes you just don't come through"
-Tori Amos (again? Woo.. she turns me on)
I wonder who can read this far, without falling a sleep? I know I'm at the edge
of my consciousness.
Everything is a phallic symbol?
Man "rules" the world, so it must be. Right? (nice logic)
No.. I think I like James Joyce's (Ivar's) idea better.
We'll shed the excess weight of our bodies, and we'll enter our minds into some
kind of cyberspace. Something much more than just this message. these
electrons. It'll be some kind of extension of yourself. You won't need to worry
about body gloves, or H.U.D's., you'll be linked in through your brainstem.
Yeah. We won't have to worry about anything, except for a careless cat that may
accidently knock over our mindless bodies, and bring us back to 'reality'
Don't I just make you sick? Maybe I'll go cut off an ear?
I want my god.
I am, Candide
(still missing my left buttock)
** Don't I just make you sick? Maybe I'll go cut off an ear? **
something radical eh ?
tormented misunderstood genius..
flashes like these makes me think everyone here fits
everyone shows it.
I really like what's been going on.
it's so good to be understood.
this poem was written by you
with me going through you it seems.
I feel the same way so often.
and the thing is
there aren't many twisted individuals like us.
all of us he.
what we do is good.
fuck we gotta get it out man.
get more people like us
network these thoughts.
more forces more concepts more sides
to make you reevaluate yourself.
the more the better.. the different angles let you see the back sides of your
dj james joyce
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