ASCII WARZ!^&%@!#^&%$!@#

The problem with this is that all of the posted ASCII I've managed to obtain over the past 10 months occupies a file 2411 lines in length. Where's the problem? The maximum article length B will display is upwards of 850 lines.

The solution? Just show you the first 850 lines and save the rest for an an issue that's REALLY coded!

Washing Machines, 3D coding, butts, elliptical orbits, sleeping positions, double boilers... the first 850 lines has all of this and MORE!

Unfortunately I'm too lazy to comment them Bob-Sagat-style like I usually do so you'll just have to make your own interpretation on the humour contained herein.

...

Subj: Re: 3D coding

ET> - rotate all verticies
ET> - draw all faces
ET>
CO> Well, I'm trying to figure out how to draw the faces. :)
ET>
ET> ... interpolate between tha points... and if you want to do it the easiest
ET> way, put the values into a table of scanlines, and use that table to draw out
ET> the polygon.
ET>
ET>
ET> like:
ET>                               (x1,y1)
ET>                              /\
ET>                             /  \
ET>                            /    \
ET>                           /      \
ET>                          /        \
ET>                         /          \
ET>                        /            \
ET>                 (x3,y3)-__           \
ET>                           -__         \
ET>                              -__       \
ET>                                 -__     \
ET>                                    -__   \
ET>                                       -__ \
ET>                                          -_\
ET>                                             (x2,y2)
ET>
ET> take that as a polygon (a quite decent ascii one, if i may say so)

...

CA> grr. how does Scream Tracker 3.x and Impulse Tracker do those nifty
CA> in text mode? (i know it has something to do with using a second
CA> set, but i need more.. ) and how does Impulse Tracker do the mouse
CA>
CA> anyways..
TR>
TR> have u tried making a mouse cursor in text mode?  the coordinates that int
TR> 33h returns are pixel accurate.  That is it treats the screen as if it was
TR> in graphics mode and returns the EXACT point it should be at.  then you
TR> will need at least 4 characters (depending on the size of your cursor) to
TR> emulate a graphic cursor.
TR>   e.g.
TR>
TR>  _______________
TR> |       |       |
TR> |   .   |       |
TR> |   :\. |       |
TR> |   :  \.       |
TR> |   :   |\.     |
TR> |___:___|__\.___|
TR> |   :   |    \  |
TR> |   ----|-----' |
TR> |       |\\     |
TR> |       | \\    |
TR> |       |  \\   |
TR> |_______|_______|
TR>
TR> the grid are the four characters. and the cursor (well it's a little big)
TR> should completely fit into ONE of the characters, and when u move it
TR> around, it may span more than one like in the above example.
TR>
TR> Now you must calculate which characters it will go over, grab the
TR> characters on the screen, calculate a 2x2 grid with the characters on the
TR> bottom and paste the cursor on top  of it then  put the 4 characters on
TR> the screen on top of where it should be.
TR>
TR> that's the basics.
TR>
ET>
ET> .. you set the character definition either thru bios interrupt, or thru
ET> hardware (i use hardware - goes faster)... the mouse is done the same way
ET> as i did in GoldView... you must re-map the characters for the mouse
ET> cursor every time you move it.
ET>
ET> .. what i did is reserve 6 characters for the mouse cursor (that way i can
ET> still have a full size mouse cursor in 80x50 mode)... then i would copy the
ET> characters from the screen to those ones, and map the mouse cursor overtop
ET> of it.
ET>
ET> then you would move the cursor within the 3x3 box until it goes outside of
ET> the middle one, then move the box over... placing the old characters back
ET> to the ones yer not using anymore... sorta like:
ET>
ET>  0________1________2________3
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  1________|________|________|
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |     ,  |        |        |
ET>  |     |\ |        |        |
ET>  |     ; \         |        |
ET>  2____ :  \ _______|________|
ET>  |     ;   \       |        |
ET>  |     |   /       |        |
ET>  |     `-;\        |        |
ET>  |       ` ;       |        |
ET>  |       `-        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  |        |        |        |
ET>  3________|________|________|
ET>
ET>
ET>
ET> if any part of the cursor goes out of the CENTER square, move the square in
ET> the direction of the mouse...  to map the cursor easily onto the
ET> characters, make an AND and an OR mask, each of a LONGINT (32 bits, but all
ET> you need is 24 bits (3x8 pixels)  ) for each scanline.  then when you GET
ET> the characters, make the scanline comprised of the 3 characters into the
ET> LONGINT, and then depending on which pixel the mouse cursor is on, rotate
ET> the bits of the MASK right xx pixels.. in this case, i would move it right
ET> 6 bits, since it starts  on the 6th pixel, and start on that particular
ET> scanline.
ET>
ET> .. twas fun to do this for me.. hope it is for you! (:
ET>
ET> ...at least we're keeping it clean....

...

WE> it has everything to do with it!  it's what i base most of my views on.
WE>
SE> try thinking for yourself sometime..  it's fun! =)
SE>
PV> Brainwashing.. I can see this big washing machine where devote christians
PV> put their children in weeks after they are born and baptized.
PV>
PV> |~~~~~~~~~~~|
PV> |  /~~~~~\  |
PV> |  |weird|  |
PV> |  \_____/  |
PV> |___________|
PV>
PV>     ^
PV>    brainwashing machine
PV>
PV> P.S. If anyone wants a cheap 10 second ascii of a washing machine it'll
PV> cost you $10. :)
PV>
PV> Pv
WE>
WE> argh!  ok!  so i didn't mean it that way, maybe i exagerated.
WE>
WE> oh forget it.
WE>
WE>  .----------.
WE>  |\/\/\/\/\/|   <--- brain mashing machine
WE>  |  p ur  e |
WE>  |vo l tag e|
WE>  |/\/\/\/\/\|
WE>  `----------'
IC>
IC> what has he been brainwashed by?
IC>
IC> or is this the beginning of an inter-galactic ascii war? =)
BE>
BE>
BE> .--(acme washing machine)--.
BE> |                          |
BE> |                          |
BE> |    .-----------------.   |
BE> |    |   t a b n e t   |   |
BE> |    |     l ove s     |   |
BE> |    | gangraping apes |   |
BE> |    `-----------------'   |
BE> `--------------------------'
BE>
PV> Pv likes washing machine fad. Keep em comming! Everyone draw a ascii
PV> washing machine and I promise you will go to heaven. Anyone who doesn't
PV> goes to hell automaticly! :)
PV>
SE>      _____________
SE>    _/_____________\_
SE>   |                 |
SE>   |    _.-----._    |
SE>   |   //       \\   |
SE>   |  ||  (oo)   ||  |  <- Pure Voltage stuck on Spin Cycle
SE>   |   \\  -    //   |
SE>   |     `-----'     |
SE>   `-----------------'
SE>
WD>
WD>      .------------.
WD>      | .--------. |
WD>      | |  o 0   | | <--- washing machine is maaaaaaaaaaaad.
WD>      | | -v--v- | |
WD>      | `--------' |
WD>      `------------'
WD>
WD>      .------------.
WD>      | .--------. |
WD>      | |  o o   | |  <--- washing machine is haaaaappy.
WD>      | | `---'  | |
WD>      | `--------' |
WD>      `------------'
WD>
WD>      .------------.
WD>      | .--------. |
WD>      | |  * *   | |  <--- washing machine doesn't like these sick
WD>      | | --,-,- | |       mutilations of its imaaaage.
WD>      | `---`-'--' |
WD>      `------------'
WD>

...

CO> sunday school is a good demonstration of religion, but doesn't tell
CO> you that much about christianity.
CO>
PV>
PV> ,--------------.
PV> |   ,______.   |
PV> |  |        |  |
PV> |  |        |  |
PV> |   ~~~~~~~~   |
PV> |sunday school |
PV> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PV> 
PV>
PV> Pv
PV>

...

SE> No, I don't draw ANSI with TheDraw, ACiDDraw or Pablo.
SE>
WE> uhh, so, what do you use... a washing machine?  =)
CT>
CT>      _____________
CT>    _/_____________\_
CT>   |                 |
CT>   |    _.-----._    |
CT>   |   //  \\   |
CT>   |  ||       ||  |  <- Sentience work-in-progress.
CT>   |   \\    //   |
CT>   |     `-----'     |
CT>   `-----------------'
CT>

...

JU> I liked toad because it was basically a farce.  I couldn't even
JU> believe people were ven taking it moderately serious.
JU> But imagine if i had kept toad going?  You'd be in it.  Sarcasm maybe?
JU> Would  have gotten some good artists.  Could have gone somewhere..
JU> Nah..
WE>
WE> maybe...
WE>
WE> i guess, if you were still running it, it would have gotten bigger, eh?
WE> what was that kid's name... Mad Turnip or something?
WE>
WE> i only joined it 'cause i wanted to be in a group and i was too bad at
WE> drawing to get into a better one.  =)
WE>
WE> but then.. i grew a brain.
WE>
WE>
WE> before:   _         after:   o
WE>         --|--              --|--
WE>          / \                / \
WE>

...

ON> throw in something different too.. like maybe a pic, or a lit, if
ON> anything that'd like to show off..
CT>
CT> um..
CT>
CT> I can do that 8)
CT>
ON> Well, pending green flags from ETO, gofer it!..
ET>     _-_  _      _  _-_
ET>   _---\    /---_
ET>  -|  |-
ET>  \___\/___/
ET>   \_-  - -/\- -  -_/
ET>    \-                -/
ET>     \                /
ET>      \              /
ET>       \            /
ET>        \          /
ET>

IC> to prevent pregnancy perhaps?  it was 98% effective against pregnancy,
IC> not diseases..
IC>
WE> 98-99% **************IIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFF***************************
WE> they're used properly.  iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffff!!
WE>
WE>
WE>            ,s&$s,            ,s&$$$&s,
WE>            `"S'          ,&$$$$ $$$$$
WE>           `$$$$&s_        $$$$$$ `"$$b
WE>             $$$$$$      `$$$$$$$ss,
WE>             $$$$$$         $$$$$$
WE>             $$$$$$         $$$$$$
WE>            d$$$$$$b       d$$$$$$b
WE>          _&$$$$$$$$&s_ _s&$$$$$$$&s,_
WE>
WE> ugh, that looks awful.
WE>
WE> but you get what i mean, right?  RIGHT!  IF!

...

HB> NOr will I see it anyway.
FU>
FU>     too cool, huh? =)
HB>
HB> me?
HB>
HB> a HAHAHahHA what a stupid question.
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB>
HB> no
FU>
FU>     hahhaha.. loser. loooooossser.
HB>
HB> NO, you're the looozer. lOOOOOSER!
HB>
HB>
HB>                  i-iI~Ii-i
HB>               i'II II II-I
HB>               I II II II I
HB>               I  ------- I   OSER!
HB>               `I         I
HB>                I          --~~""s
HB>                 `I _____ ___,--~~
HB>
HB> wow, that worked.
HB>
HB> KINDA
HB>
FU>
FU>     oh yeah?! OH YEAH!?
FU>           __
FU>          |  |
FU>      _ /\|  |__
FU>     | |  |  |  |/\
FU>     | |  |  |  |  |
FU>     |            /
FU>      \_         |
FU>        \_     _/'
FU>          |   |
FU>
FU>     ick. yes that is supposed to be a middle finger. ack.
HB>
HB> Looks like you didn't do a very good job at slicing your Pinkie, Ring, and
HB> index fingers off.
HB>
HB> Where's the blood?

...

HF> Yuck, ascii has such an ugly infinity sign.
CT>
CT> I thought it was a peanut
WD>
WD> looks like a pig nose.
WD>
WD>  ' . . `
WD>     
WD>
WD> oink oink.

...

WE> ok the name of the person is Lizard Mon.  remember that.
WE> er, heh, i'm not sure.  actually i forgot.  i still have to contact
WE> him back and stuff.  hold on to your butts.  =)
TH>
TH>           o
TH>      B>---|\  <---Th holding onto his butt
TH>          / \
WE>
WE> hehehe, well i said butts.  so make it:
WE>
WE>              o
WE>        BB>---|\
WE>             / \
WE>
WE> wait a minute, that's four.  whoa, four butts.  imagine that.
TH>
TH>     uhh..  oh.. hmmm  now _that_ would be interesting...  =]     phew..
TH>     gives me cold shivers just thinking about it..
TH>
WE>     hrrmmm  what are those butts doing.. ?     but what if i only have
WE>     one butt...  where can i get another ?
WE>
WE>                                     /^\
WE>              o                    /_____\
WE>         b>---|---< ?              |     |   <---"Bob's Butt Store"
WE>             / \                   | |T| |
WE>

...

BA> and you would have seen me in an semi s&m gear as well.  chain belt around
BA> my waist, very very little black dress, black/violet lipstick and
BA> eyemakeup, and crimson red fishnets.  that was fuuuun.  hehehehe...
TP>
TP> =).. <- spittle...
TP>

...

ON> he loses his grip momentarily, and shards of metal fly off him, but
ON> going..
ON>
ON> anyway, the thing shoots up at tanish, hitting for 20.
ON>
ME>
ME> Tanish takes the hit and ready's himself behind the Casket. I run up behind
ME> the casket and get a good grip! I tell tanish> "O.k... on three.. 1....2..
ME> .. 3!" Tanish heaves the casket over the edge with me holding on tight,
ME> following it's decsent towards the Mech! As soon as the casket removes the
ME> mech from the wall I release my grip on the casket and grab on to the mech
ME> and start FLYing outwards, pushing the mech away from the building with all
ME> my strength in order to fall past the lower roof top! When we begin our
ME> final descent to the ground I'll manoover myself on top of him and fly at
ME> full speed to push us faster towards the ground!
ME>
ME> If I notice we're not going to make it I'll cast FORCE at point blank
ME> range in hopes to push and the mech further away from the building!
ME>
ME>   ]    $=MYRA       #= CASKET   @= MECH
ME>   ]    &=TANISH     *= ME
ME>   ]
ME>   ]
ME>   -
ME>      <----WINDOW
ME> $ &
ME> -!- #
ME>   ] .
ME>   ] .
ME>   ] .
ME>   ]   .
ME>   ] *@  .
ME>   ] .    .       ** I'll keep pushing outwards if I see more buildings **
ME>   ] #     *@ .
ME>   ] .         .
ME>   ]CRASH!     *@.
ME>   ]_____         .       !
ME>         ]         .       !
ME>         ]         *@     L
ME>         ]                 B
ME>         ]          .      I
ME>         ]                 T
ME>         ]          .      U
ME>         ]                  R
ME>         ]          .       T
ME>         ]                  S
ME>         ]          .      I
ME>         ]                 D
ME>         ]          .      N
ME>         ]                I
ME>         ]          .
ME>         ]
ME>         ]          .    M
ME>         ]              A
ME>         ]          . I
ME>         ]          *
ME>         ]          @
ME>         ]             .
ME>         ]          .      .
ME>         ]       .
ME>         ]       .  .   .
ME>         ]        . . .
ME>         ]      .   .    .
ME>         ]    . . Splat!  . .    *
ME>         --------------------------------------