Sometimes, freedom isn't something to be desired. One of the most powerful truisms I've encourtered is: "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." This is true. After all, you are only free to pursue all possibilities once you have no links or loyalties to anyone.
A free person cannot betray anything, because they have nothing to betray.
3 weeks ago I became sane. 3 weeks ago was the last time I cut myself. I realised how much I did have to lose. My sensible, supportive mom. My hopeful, distantly affectionate dad. My fierce sister. My friends, who have been more of a family to me than any family can be. My schooling, and education. My skills as a writer and an artist. My work and independance. My joy in this life. I carved "Freedom = Nothing to lose." in my arm. Because I am not free. Because only once am I free can I truly leave this world. While I still have my loved ones, and things I take joy in pride in, I will never be free. These bonds do not chain me, but anchor me. All that I love is the stuff that keeps me from dissappearing on the horizon.