While we're spamming you with silly stuff, especially in an e-mag coded in B, we may as well present to you the MISSING ARTICLE from our 2nd-prize-winning Blender #30 entry, the Kung-Fu-Fighting/Ninja/Sweatshop magazine ChopShop! (This article actually was included in the archive but somehow it slipped between the cracks.)

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Is your kimono all gimpy and full of grime at the end of a hard day's oppression? Do you just want to toss in the towel and forget about kung-foo fighting?

Well WAIT. Now after coming back from the sweatshop you can go to the SweatShop(tm)!

That's right, SweatShop franchised saunas! There's gotta be one near you. Imagine the theraputic value of having perspiration flooded out of your pores, taking all of your body's impurities with it! After a good half hour, a dip in the icy cold koi pond in the back, then a session with certified Shiatsu massage therapists.

Just watch out for the Alligators!

Sign up for our sauna program today and recieve a FREE: towel. Always useful in any and all contexts. See a good Douglas Adams book if you doubt this; a used mawashi! (a what?) that big g-string thing that sumo wrestlers wear! Guaranteed more-or-less free of skid marks!

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

You'll get a Swiss Army Tamagotchi! It cries for food! It cries for love! It cries for discipline! It splits bagels, and man, does it make Julien fries!

So sign up today for our SweatShop Ninja special program. Just be sure to check your weapon (heh heh) at the door!