My printer makes a lot of noise
when printing pages out
with buttons, dials and other toys
adorning its beige snout.
Then one day I realized
it's trying to talk to me,
so through the feed I fed french fries
'cause he sounded so hungry!
But greasy hot potato strips
don't make good printer food
With beeps and whistles and blips
he said he didn't feel good.
So I asked poor Pooky what was wrong
whatever could it be?
His answer took not very long;
here's what he said to me:
His hexadecimal messages
printed as fast as I could decode 'em,
but it was clear that what the pages hinted
was that he was in love with my modem.
Of course this took me by surprise
and knocked me to the floor
and suddenly, from Pooky's eyes
ink tears began to pour.
I thought about it long and hard
but the news would not be palatable
the simple fact was that my I/O card
just was not compatible.
I stuck the knife in to the hilt
as gently was I was able;
"The parallel port with which you're built
won't accept a serial cable."
Well Pooky was sad and wouln't print
my print jobs any more
but the last straw came when I went
and bought a fourteen-four.
He slagged me through the Internet
and shredded all my work
so now I'm buying a Bubblejet
if he's going to be such a jerk.
But I'll never throw out Pooky dear
to such a cruel fate
in fact, look down, he's still right here
being used as a paperweight.
It's just as well a romantic fling
never was aroused
because the fickle little thing
was cheating with my mouse!
- Lovingly inscribed by Livewire