What follows is my opinion as to what would REALLY happen if people were telepathic, as opposed to Cthulu's intelligent, yet slightly absurd prophesy.

IF PEOPLE WERE REALLY TELEPATHIC...

First, we'd all know what everyone else was thinking, and we'd probably get awfully embarassed. I mean, what if you were walking down the street and some ugly little midget passed you and you just casually thought, "Wow, what an ugly little midget!". He'd probably turn around and be terribly insulted. You'd turn quite red in the face, and clear your throat for a minute. Then he'd fly at you with his souped up powerhouse of a Black & Decker chainsaw, and your last thoughts would be, "I'd never have thought the miserable little bugger could move so fast!" Which would merely intensify the fury of which he was dismembering you.

Of course, then the flamingos would take over, and we'd be split into two general catagories: Shrimp-divers, and ugly little midgets. The shrimp-divers would use all the technological advances made so far in the human race to facilitate their purpose in life: namely, diving and retrieving a great immense amount of shrimp for the Great Pink Masters. The ugly little midgets would all be castrated and neutered, using the most ancient and painful methods known to flamingos, for no better reason than that they're ugly little midgets.

So that's it. The only thing I agree with Cthulu about is the hamster named Bob. Good old Bob.



AUTHOR: Coyote