Suddenly, over a period of ten years, three months and two days, Pellicule the Magnificent leapt down from his lofty tricycle, and surveyed the surrounding countryside.
"This sucks!" he cried, and went somewhere else.
The somewhere else he went to was called Shampooville. No one liked Shampooville, and so no one lived there, except the town's population of 6.8 billion people. Pellicule the Magnificent strode into thw town square, and prepared to make an announcement. He suddenly realized that the town square would be a bad place to make an announcement, because a square is such a pissy little shape. He got up on the town rhombohedron instead.
"Mu name is Pellicule the Magnificent!" he declared, after the townspeople had all gone home. The sole remaining audience member, a sharp blue toothbrush, stared in awe at his imposing figure. His imposing figure was a small diagram labeled, "figure b." It was a very imposing figure indeed. So imposing that Pellicule the Magnificent himself had to set it on fire to avoid becoming its slave.
And so he ate the sharp blue toothbrush, which cut a hole in his esophagus, through which he bled to death.
The hole in his esophagus was very displeased, as this violent death would surely lower property values, and so it moved to Spain.
Spain was, on the whole, completely disinterested. Shampooville was about 5000 miles from Spain, except on thursdays.
It was at this point that Pellicule the Magnificent realized what a terrible mistake he had made. Or at least he would have, except he was dead, because there was a big-ass hole in his neck. He would have been able to realize what a terrible mistake he had made, had he not tried to swallow a sharp toothbrush. Of course, swallowing the toothbrush was the mistake he was in the process of not realizing he had made, due to the fact that he was dead, so he disregarded the whole shebang and continued being dead.
His tricycle, which was actually the reincarnated spirit of Kurt Cobain, suffered a fatal hangnail and died. The coroners never learned this, however, because they couldn't find any fingernails on a tricycle, due to their extreme incompetence.
The population of 6.8 billion people all ate ice cream with ball bearings on top. They gave it a nice, sparkly texture and some real crunch. Dentists in Shampooville were wealthy men. See figure b. The town government decided they didn't like the uneven number, and rounded in off to 7 billion people, by dumping aphrodesiacs in the javex, so everyone who tried to commit suicide had children first.
The extra .2 billion people didn't like Shampooville, so they burned it to the ground. They even burned the ground they had burned Shampooville to.
Then they all moved to Spain, and mysteriously disappeared when they all fell into a hole.