Termite Terrace / The hefty man marched up our stairs / with courage in his stride. / And entered so, the trap of theirs, / with goggles, gas, and pride. / He gave to us a card which read: / Big Al, Exterminator. / We'd soon be rid, or so he said, / of pesky vermin raiders. / He claimed he'd have no trouble / Sterilizing buzzing nests, / He would rid us, on the double, / of our wood-devouring pests. / Now, these termites, they were insects / of no ordinary size; / And they looked upon our duplex / as a tasty wooden prize. / They gnawed upon the furniture, / and chewed up all the doors. / We stepped, with much discomforture, / Upon our nibbled floors. / This Orkin man extraordinaire / arrived upon the scene. / He said he'd lay his little snares / And tell us what he'd seen. / So he loaded up his Raid cans, / and he fired up a torch, / and he ventured down, that poor brave man, / beneath the backyard porch. / And we waited, oh, we waited, / for the day and night, and then; / Collectively, breaths baited, / we all waited it again. / With four such days, we heard a noise, / emitting from down under. / We fled in fear, while lacking poise; / the house, it shook and thundered! / Amidst a great and rending sound, / with rubble flying far, / Our cozy house embraced the ground / and landed on our car. / While waiting for the dust to clear, / we saw, emerge, a hand. / It soon became apparent, here, / Big Al'd re-join our band. / We helped him up, and sat him down, / And listened to his tale. / And as he told us what he'd found, / his face grew slowly pale. / He spoke of great behemoths there, / of elephants, of sharks; / It seems he'd found the termite's lair / Alone there in the dark. / He said, I never seen 'em so. / Not here, not there, not Paris! / There're things a man's not meant to know / inside your Termite Terrace!

-- ansi by halaster, lit by cthulu.  click here for the original ansi released in ACiD June 1995 --