(the Brain: ) Are you ponderin' whut I be ponderin'? / That's right... I'm going to tell you a little story. / We were all incarcerated - locked away without a key. / The Joker, Lex Luthor, Sean Connery and me. / Tucked away inside the safest place the penal system has; / the floating island fortress of impressive ALCATRAZ. / Now, tonight, like every other night, I had a shifty plan - / to conquer right the planet - making servants of all man. / This would not be a problem, but my dreams and fancies paled / with the grim reality that I was stuck inside a jail! / My brainless henchman Pinky was released out on parole - / no doubt taking the opportunity to drink a few and smoke a bowl. / So it was up to me alone to get my freedom and my chance / to crush the human race like it was just a hill of ants! / In the corner of the chamber, where the windows leaked in rain, / I collected heavy water that spilled out over the drain. / I kept it in a bucket that I'd made of stolen spoons / and the water level rose over a span of many moons. / Now I knew my friend The Joker, in the cell right next to me, / had a very small amount of deuterium-233. / (It apparently was smuggled in a package that was fake / as the centre of his mother's homemade choco-carrot cake.) / If we brought our toys together, we could really make a boom / and we'd crawl to our escape out the hole that was our room. / We'd die of cancer, granted, given ten or twenty years / but the world would be our oyster - and everyone would PHEAR us! (beware!) / (Joker:) So the mouse, he said to me, So, are you pondering... Ho, ho! / I tapped my pale forehead and said to him, Let's go! / And I laughed my merry laugh, and I grinned my trademark grin, / and I took the water bucket, and I dropped my metal in / and I tightly shut my eyes, and I quickly plugged my ears... / and then there was a great big flash, that followed by our cheers. / We stumbled, slow but urgently, out of the mound of rubble / that had been our holding place because we'd gotten into trouble. / And we turned around and looked right back, in dark before the dawn, / and saw with great success the entire cell block was gone! / There was no one left to be worried or to call the alarm! / We could go on our way without causing any (more) harm! / Swimming across the bay towards San Francisco's water, / the situation grew more tense; it got a little hotter. / They'd found our ruse - they knew we'd fled - the search teams scurried out / but we were long long gone - we were splashing right about / seven miles out to sea - they would never find us now. / Then they sent their helecopters out, to spot us in the night / but we thought that our puny shapes were safely out of sight. / Unfortunately, our great ESCAPE wasn't quite a walk in the park - / because of our escaping plan, we glowed bright in the dark! / They picked us from the water and they sent us back to prison - / this time in lead-lined cells, to prevent our evil fission. / I guess we'll have to try again tomorrow night! / I lay before you life and death / a blessing and a curse / choose life / choose life / so that you may live

-- ansi by watOr, ironghost and the green hornet, lit by cthulu.  click here for the original ansi released in Blender #22 --