the Pacific Northwest TabNet / Everything Pit-of-Doom-Sacrifice and Retinal Scarring (tm) (idea) by Pseudo_Intellectual (6 mon) (print) ? 1 C! Fri Jul 14 2000 at 7:55:53 Original TabNet invitation by yam first, with Everything amendments within and following: Yes, yes, it's that time of year again! Break out the mini-marshmallows! FIREWORKS! July 29th, August 2nd, 5th, and 9th (saturday, wednesday, saturday, wednesday) ~But for irregulars (read: all you unaffiliated-with-TabNet-Everythingites) the fireworks on August 5, 2000 are the best target date, on a weekend to facilitate out-of-towners (and next-morning workers) and centralized to optimize your chance of meeting other Everythingites instead of a bunch of skanky Tabbers, PsychoNetters and chatboarders.~ Meet at 6:30 pm each night at the pit of doom for mortal marshmallow kombat & b0nkery! At 8:30 or 9 we'll walk over to English Bay to watch the fireworks, and afterwards perhaps go make fools of ourselves somewhere else. Ground tag, anyone? Hey! you say. I've never been to a tabmeet! Where is this mysterious "pit of doom"? Why, I'm glad you asked! The pit of doom is a big round air vent at Burrard Skytrain Station. (Transit route information for getting there is viewable at http://www.coastmountainbus.com/bus/exchangespdf/burrard.pdf) Get off the skytrain at burrard, and go up the escalators. You'll be in the concourse where they sell tickets, and where the bored policemen are getting paid overtime to check people's bags for dangerous iced tea. To the north, which is what you'll be facing as you come off the escalator, is a big set of stairs. Go all the way up. Now, turn right. As you walk along, you should see a big round metal grate, with little stone cubes along the edges as benches. You should also see a collection of random tabnetters. If in doubt, or lost, yell "Bonk!" and tabnet will respond in kind. BE THERE! OR ELSE! YAY! 6:30! PIT OF DOOM! JULY 29 and AUGUST 2, 5, and / or 9! BASTARDS! ...................... All right, what does this all mean? Well: Every year to circumnavigate tobacco advertising regulations the (evil!) cigarette company Benson & Hedges puts on international fireworks competitions (the "Symphony of Fire") in various cities. One of those cities is consistently Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, not incidentally the locale of the above invitation. The massif of area code 604's cyberculture has been getting together for this event for so many years (six? seven?) that it's become an entrenched tradition - many oldschoolers no longer online log cameo appearances at these events, redisappearing for the rest of the year under their rocks of work, academia and hermitage. Since people show up at these firework meets who never show up to otherwise meets anymore, there's lots of introduction, making friends and establishing first impressions. So in keeping not only with the spirit of making initial nonline connections with members of online communities but with the "if there's going to be chaos, there might as well be a lot of chaos" frame-of-mind that always makes the best contributions to situations of mob mentality (each night an estimated quarter-million people make their way down to the beach to take in the pyrotechnics), I decided that this annual set of events would be ideal for the piggybacking of a local Everything gathering. It has been an observed phenomenon of tabmeets that the more people present the more fun everybody has; these meets are already the biggest meets of the year (topping out at crowds of 40-50 modemers rampaging through the streets, discussing Neal Stephenson, network security and pressing intellectual questions) and my quasi-facetious logic dictates more people = more fun! If I will maintain such faulty reasoning, there's no good reason for you not to humour it by attending! The fireworks show itself starts each night at approximately 10:15 pm, a different country's team presenting each night (the schedule as yet undeclared, the last night a collaboration of all teams) but keep in mind the exploding skybursts are only a premise, an excuse to get this amazing group of people together under extraordinary circumstances. We meet approximately four hours earlier and tend to remain an unruly mob for four hours after the show is over, laying siege to innocent all-night diners and defenseless coffeeshops and Benny's Bagels (which should consider itself warned that we just might mount another orgy on the balcony this year). There is a spare room across from mine in the basement of the TabHouse in which revellers from out-of-town or heck, out-of-country, are welcome to rest their weary bones and shake the mini-marshmallows out of their clothes. Everybody who's anybody in the Everything People Registry :Canada : British Columbia should be in attendance (as well as a number of non-Everythinging nobodies) and visitors from Washington and Oregon are encouraged to make the trek. No Idahoans, though. We hate Idaho! Boo! Go back to your potatoes! Along with the typical group activities (mini-marchmallow bombardment, pick-up soccer and frisbee golf, rousing public games of "up my butt!", boffing and social engineering of the thousands of hoi polloi around and among us) I hope at this event on the night of August 5th to pass around a notepad on which everyone must inscribe thoughts credited to themselves, later to be transcribed and entered into this database as The Writeup Contributed To By The Most People. (Forget the node with the most writeups - I don't hunt small game.) As well, in full TabNet fashion, all attendees must at some point publically post reviews of their firework experience, including at some point in their narrative mention of kitten-drowning. Tradition is a tradition. On August 5th, 2000, Vancouver will be burning. Yes, that is the same date as both the Washington, DC EverythingCon and The Midwest E2 Bathtub Jam as well. In the surreal event of a possible conflict, come to this one or I'll kick your ass. I'm a godhead now, I can do these things. Please RSVP with myself here, at pseudo_intellect@hotmail.com or leave a message for me at 1-604-253-5804 if you plan on attending, need directions, moral guidance or might need lodging in the basement room 8) Prestigious noders anticipated in attendance include: * the pugnacious Pukesick! * the mumificent Mojoe! * the yummy Yam! * the juicy juliet! * the profoundly proselytizing Prole! (...picks pecks of purple peppers) * the inimitable icicle! (and her raunchy roommate!) * the j.. uh.. jury-rigged Jeeves! * the flan-tastic (er... custard-filled?) flamingweasel! * the lascivious LordOmar! * the tap-dancing (well, no) Tristin! * the mellow Moa! * the marvelous Myrkul! * the revolutionary Repp! * the spectacular Sparky! * the deviant Dekaritae! * and of course our gracious host the punctilious Pseudo_Intellectual! Gee, this is almost as much fun as naming Battle Beasts! With a group like this, how can you afford not to come?! MapQuest directions from Seattle to Burrard Station, Vancouver follow (though of course you'll need parking - perhaps at the TabHouse?): 1: Start out going Northwest on 6TH AVE towards MADISON ST by turning left. 0.2 miles 2: Turn RIGHT onto UNIVERSITY ST. 0.0 miles 3: UNIVERSITY ST becomes UNIVERSITY ST (?!). 0.0 miles 4: Take I-5 N. 110.6 miles 5: I-5 N becomes HIGHWAY 99 N. 25.1 miles (40.4 km) 6: Take the MARINE DR. EAST ramp towards CITY CENTRE. 0.1 miles (0.2 km) 7: Turn SHARP LEFT onto SW MARINE DR. 0.6 miles (0.9 km) 8: SW MARINE DR becomes GRANVILLE ST. 4.8 miles (7.8 km) 9: Take the HWY-99 NORTH/SEYMOUR ST. ramp towards BC FERRIES/HORSESHOE BAY/WHISTLER. 0.2 miles (0.3 km) 10: HIGHWAY 99 N becomes SEYMOUR ST. 0.6 miles (1.0 km) 11: Turn LEFT onto W GEORGIA ST. 0.2 miles (0.4 km) 12: Turn RIGHT onto BURRARD ST. 0.1 miles (0.2 km) 13: Turn LEFT onto DUNSMUIR ST. 0.0 miles (0.0 km) Total Distance: 142.7 miles (229.6 km) One more bit of unasked contextual information (gim questions and I'll respond to them here): the night before the Everything-centric fireworks (that being, August 4th before August 5th) is the first Friday of the month, and as such the occurrence of our monthly 2600 gathering at the food court of Pacific Centre, near the phone booths. If you're gonna be in town more than one day, it might behoof or entertain you to show up there. ... Reviews: Pseudo_Intellectual screwing a clipboard, my weekend with Jeeves, Something Happened: The Pacific NorthWest E2 Gathering ... Something Happened: The Pacific NorthWest E2 Gathering (idea) by prole (4.4 mon) (print) ? 1 C! Wed Aug 09 2000 at 8:59:57 alright, you people. for shame. here sits a perfectly good node, wasting away as a nodeshell, yet to be filled by the people who partook in far more of the activities of the pacific northwest tabnet / everything pit-of-doom-sacrifice and retinal scarring (tm). tsk. well, that's just lovely. that was sarcasm. you ought all be very ashamed of yourselves, leaving me with the opportunity to make the first writeup. personally, i had a damned fabulous weekend. i met the celebrity of e2 celebrities, pseudo_intellectual (though he doesn't remember talking to me..), i saw a lovely fireworks show, i got a little bit drunk and obtained a large quantity of interesting colored (or coulored) and confusing currency, and experienced something that i feel strongly was very akin to the whole wto nonsense. first, i must say, the train rules. i had a very exciting time, as i passed through many of the towns i've lived in during my lifetime and was able to regale moa (my travelling companion for the duration of the weekend) with tales of my youth. i swear to god we passed right through the backyard of the house i was born in. it pays to live on the i-5 corridor. first revelation/affirmation: it's far easier to get into canada than to get out. i've never spent more than two minutes passing through canadian customs. i've been stopped numerous times going back into the us, despite the fact that i have no criminal record and have lived an hour from the border for most of my existence. we elitists chose not to stay in the tabnet house with all the geeks, but instead roomed at the hotel dominion, in gastown (i don't know what that means or why it's called that, so don't ask). considering how much bukowski i've been reading lately, it was utterly perfect. small and unique and kind of smelly, reeking of history. second revelation: hotel maids can see their shared occupation in each others' eyes. you know why? because we bother to look each other in the eye. needless to say, i stripped the sheets and left a tip because the maid was nice. much walking was involved. but walking does not phase intrepid travellers and so we arrived at the pit of doom at about 8. because we're intrepid, but sort of lazy. thankfully, people were still there, and hitting each other with styrofoam-covered bats. introductions were made and i promptly forgot them, due to the fact that the majority of participants were not noders. or, at least, noders i had heard of. we waited for a few minutes and icicle and her roommate showed up, and then we ventured on through stanley park to someplace i couldn't find again if my life depended on it. but we sat down near the porta-potties, and hence had a nice landmark, enabling us to go off to a nearby bar and get a little goofy before the fireworks began. in hindsight, it would have been better to try and engage a larger percentage of the geeks in question in this venture, but geeks are shy, so we just ran away. came back just as the show started and the frat kids around us were very elated. saw the aftermath of a few fights on the way back and there was rumor of pepper spray in the vicinity. overall, it was lovely. and no goddamn forced patriotism. nice. the show ended and there was some standing around, then people departed and we had somehow condensed ourselves to a smaller, more managable group of noders, losing only icicle and her roommate. we walked up a very long street (robson?) with lots and lots of people, a sea of people (hence the wto reference), for quite a while. poor automobile drivers sat stranded in the middle of the pedestrian traffic, looking amused. third revelation: canadians are very mellow. in america, we don't stand for that shit - i'm bigger than you, get the fuck out of my way. we split from the group and the rest is merely a sad story about missed connections as a result of the inadequacy of cell phones. or something. there was more drinking, without the e2 posse, and some sightseeing the next day. fourth revelation: public transportation, especially skytrains and subways, is a very good thing. we hopped on the train and went back to the states, apparently well before the party ended. so now all you people who were actually there for the majority need to fill in the details.. (place) by Jeeves (1.5 y) (print) ? 1 C! Wed Aug 09 2000 at 9:58:18 And actually, I created this node last night, but then I realized I was in NO condition to write anything useful, so I just went to bed instead. As I was writing the text below, prole was writing her text above, and she hit "submit first, apparently". = ) Well, even though sparky got to it first, and P_I still hasn't been able to Node The Thing Up, here's my take on the event of the season. Times are approximate. Certain minor details may be incorrect. Convert to metric where required. Preliminaries: Jeeves gets about 7 hours of sleep on Thursday night, then wastes Friday fooling around. Winds up staying up very late making contingency plans in case his ride doesn't show up at the airport, and only sleeps from 2:30a till 3:30a, at which point he drives to Phoenix and boards the plane to Seattle. 9:30a Jeeves lands in Seattle, somewhat nervous and really hoping his ride will show up so he doesn't have to ride city buses around Seattle, a town which he's never been to before. 10:00a Guy walks into terminal hesitantly waving a sign labelled "JEEVES". Jeeves waves, brief introductions. 1:00p Jeeves and sparky arrive in Vancouver, after a brief dalliance with a [customs who demanded to know where we were going and what we were going to do there. 4:30p After lunch at Subway and several hours of wandering around downtown Vancouver before finally finding the Pit of Doom (this was only accomplished because of the TabNet/E2 chalk graffiti on the back wall of the Pit), Jeeves is so tired by now that he simply must sleep. He naps on the concrete surrounding the Pit of Doom, and is only accosted by Station Security once. He got a whole hour of sleep. 6:15p A strange guy wearing a bizarre hat and sporting a very interesting beard wanders into the Pit of Doom and sits on the blocks. After a few seconds of staring, the strange man asked us if we were waiting for someone...we said we were indeed. He then asked if we were from "Everything2". Again, we replied in the affirmative. The man introduced himself as Pseudo_Intellectual, at which point sparky immediately threw himself at his feet and bowed appreciatively. Jeeves settled for a handshake. 6:30p - 8:30p Random skanky TabNetters arrive, plus yam. The fencing with home-grown Nerf bats commences. After a grueling, bitter duel with his foe, our hero Jeeves is overpowered by the writeup-saturated Pseudo_Intellectual and hurled to the metal of the Pit's grate begging for mercy. After considerable waiting, more Tabbers, moa, icicle and her roommate, and prole arrive. 8:30p-ish Entire group enjoys scenic walk to the site of the fireworks. Pseudo_Intellectual serenades our contingent with Jawharp music, then passes out kazoos. Several levels of StarCon music, in full orchestrated kazoo parts, amuses passersby. Group and nearby innocents pelted with three year old (I am not kidding) mini-marshmallows. prole and moa go for a "walk", returning 45 minutes later (too bad, they missed the kazoo symphony). 10p-ish An awesome fireworks display began. 11:30p After the fireworks, the group stands around debating where to go. The group splits and starts walking to the TabHouse, except for Pseudo_Intellectual, moa, prole, jeeves, sparky, and one of P_I's roommates, who headed for sparky's truck. Near the garage, prole and moa went off to go drinking. Jeeves, sparky, P_I, and the roommate drive over to the TabHouse. 1:00a (Sunday) After an interminable debate about what to do at the TabHouse, pizza is ordered and a game of Trivial Pursuit begins, with 4 teams of random Tabbers/noders. Jeeves had the coveted honor of being on P_I's team. prole and moa call up and say they found a hostel to stay in -- they are never seen or heard from again. 3:00a Jeeves, though amazed at how long he'd been awake so far, finally crashes. Sleeps wrapped in a throw rug using his duffel bag as a pillow, in P_I's basement, due to the shortage of linens. As it turns out, if he'd stayed up later he could have fought sparky for a mattress. Jeeves considered stealing the sleeping bag that icicle's roommate was using for a pillow, but he opted out of dealing with a just-woken-up girl. 5:00a The Trivial Pursuit game ends, nobody won (so I hear). 9:17 Jeeves is woken up by icicle coming down to the basement to wake up her roommate. Wondering why they left so early, Jeeves goes back to sleep. 12:30p Pseudo_Intellectual tells Jeeves to get up for "breakfast". 1:30p Jeeves, sparky, Pseudo_Intellectual, yam, a friend of yam's, and P_I's roommate walk to a Dim Sum place in Chinatown called "Park Lock". 3:00p Some of them were still hungry after the dim sum, so the group goes to the Chinese bakery that exclusively sustained Pseudo_Intellectual's first 3,000 writeups, according to one of his roommates. 3:15p Group goes to Dr. Sun-Yat-Sen memorial garden and contemplates the lilypads. Jeeves cracks bad jokes about old games, to the amusement of P_I and the consternation of sparky. 3:45p Group goes to 7-11 to purchase candy and slurpees. Jeeves buys a 64oz soda. yam departs the group shortly afterwards (and no, her name is not "May"). The group heads back to the TabHouse. 4:30p sparky, Jeeves, Pseudo_Intellectual, and one of his roommates discuss the Northwest vs. the Southwest, Linux, E2, E1, old games, and rain for several hours. 7:30ish Pseudo_Intellectual invites Jeeves and sparky to ice cream at Casa del Gelatto, which carries 168 flavors of ice cream (meaning, every kind you can think of). Jeeves considers a triple-scoop of "Gorgonzola and Blue Cheese" and opts for a scoop each of corn, rice, and mango-macademia. 9:00p-ish Jeeves and sparky thank Pseudo_Intellectual for his hospitality and hit the road, only to drive around Vancouver following misplaced signs until they wound up going the wrong way on a one-way street. sparky gives up on remembering the path they took coming into the city and relies on instinct, miraculously locating Highway 99 and the way back home. 1:10a (Monday) Sparky drops Jeeves off at the airport in Seattle. 1:51a Jeeves concludes writing his notes about the gathering for later noding, stretches out on his luggage, and goes to sleep for 4 hours. Epilogue: Jeeves's flight landed in Phoenix at 9:30a, at which point he went to ASU to help his girlfriend move into her apartment. He finally wound up going to bed at 2am on Tuesday morning, and slept for 100 years.