Date: 7:41 am Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 201 of 218 From: Happyfish Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: lalala Replies: 1 Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 02:50:23 I WAS A TEENAGE SWAMP-GIRL, or Yeah. That Lame Meet Thing. Who was there: Me mememememe Joannabananakillerbunny Barbarazinniasomething Jovianyohimbe Myksoema Gregpubliusenigma Deanplatinum Travislut Chriseggnogsothoth Rowancthulu Woodyzamfirworshipper Jaycrowkeeper Agataphrael Gregconman Evangeekboy Joncourtisan PaulfUP Jamucolour Darylsilentknight Annannannannanna Gordonotn”øishph”ø Danmeija (well, we saw him on the street) I really hope that's everyone, but if I missed you, I'm doing it on purpose so you'll kick my ass just because I love you so much. Yeah! Go to robson square twenty minutes early. Why? I don't know. Joanna shows up. Stuff joanna has: a whip , an extremely disturbing rubber mud shark, a plastic trout, two spatulas, a penguin with a zipper in it's back, and chocolate covered cwack wock. Barbara and jove show up. Everyone shows up. Yay! Well, except foax . Anyhow: Have a rad-ass scavenger hunt! By popular demand, the list: === RULES: 1. You can't pay for anything. That wouldn't be any fun. 2. Come back in two hours. 3. Kick someone's ass. 4. Oops, forget number 3. 5. Who wrote number 4! Kick their ass! El-List-o: (one point each) 1. Signature of a man who thinks he's jesus. 2. A traffic cone. Bonus point for a non-orange one. 3. 10 or more feet of rope that isn't yellow. 4. Something blue and smaller than a breadbox. 5. A sculpture made of no less than fifteen plastic poppies. 6. Something that sez tab. 7. A personality test. 8. An invitation to something. 9. A penny older than larry cocomile. 10. A flyer from the Communist Party of Canada. 11. A red transfer. 12. Page 759/760 of the yellow pages. 13. A bead of power. 14. A torus. 15. Part of a computer. 16. A terminal city. 17. Something fuzzy. 18. An atapi cd-rom driver for win95 that still works after you install system commander. 19. If Josh is on your team: proof that he walked by at least one security guard without making them angry. If he's not: a piece of computer terminology he's never heard of. 20. Two different issues of the buzzer. Plus one bonus point for every person you convince to come back with you to robson square who w asn't originally at the meet. Two points if you've never met them before. No points if they're on another team, but that team loses a point. === Yeah! I follow the smaller team, with evan as team captain for his amazing scientology-place-finding skills. "who has a disk?" "I do! I do!" "SHUT UP BROOKE!" Power bead guy and daryl start wrestling, to the death. Evan climbs tall buildings in a single bound to get non-yellow rope. team does not steal wreathes from victory square. whew. jay is jesus. team evan wins the fabulous Tower O' duct Tape, minus one roll for travis, who has promised to win the 20 bonus points by getting my cd-rom driver to work, which he hasn't. I'll kick his ass! rowan and woody show up, showering the crowd in gifts of Tabdisks, mark two. i got the 'dream' disk. "and this disk is reserved for bob eden." "yeah, if he shows up." Ooh, ooh, I almost forgot to mention my beautiful new Elite Bat (mark three), made with seven different colours of duct and decorated with bloom county stickers. Elite, baby, elite. b0nk. yeah. cover robson square in mini marshmallows. 10 pit o' doom 20 goto 10 go get pizza. mmm, pizza. draw chalk stuff. Where the fuck are my nipples? 10 metrotown 20 goto 10 Yuck, metrotown is making me physically ill. Go stand outside. Ahh, fresh smoky air. Go back inside. After expressing their collective distaste for malls and all they stand for, half of the meet has gone to buy stuff. bastards. sit around feeling really sick. go wash hands. sit around feeling really sick but happy about having clean hands. arright, it's six! time for the 57th round of Peter Gunn on kazoo! find drongo. yay, drongo! 10 skytrain 20 goto endless loops created by earlier statements written by lame-ass who has never actually cracked open a basic compiler. 30 goto skytrain lose people. find people. bonk people. go to map of the world, and sit on vancouver. tabnet still loves bob eden, after two years. hey, this is really fucking cold. not just cold, fucking cold. let's go to ubc. no. let's go to ubc. no. let's go to ubc. okay! bye jay. bye daryl. bye jovian. bye jon, who we lost at some point. bye paul and jamu, who we should have said bye to several paragraphs ago. bye brooke's ass, which is about to get severely kicked for mixing up paragraphs. go to citr. neeat. sit on couch. sit sit sit. aww, I've been here for two hours! gordon can't find doctor ruth, and has to settle for the spice girls. make and extremely wicked ass mix tape of tabbers, josh wannabes, and ambient stuff. firm where, sir? awe pitt meadows guys with my transit goddessness. wah, i'm tired! i wanna pony! leave citr. brooke's energy triples immediately. go to benny's. do benny's stuff. everyone vibrates when I don't have a chair. bastards. I'll kick your ass! I'll kick everyone's ass! I'll kick everyone's ass twice! I'll kick everyone's ass so hard their ass will look like it's been in a car wreck! They gonna have to invent a new word, ass-wreck, just to describe the sorry-ass state yo' ass gonna be in! Yeah! Okay, I won't really kick yer ass. You're groovy, kidz. Whoah, my pupils really are dilated. Damned orange juice. 'night. have a nice day, brooke. --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) Date: 9:28 am Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 202 of 218 From: Etana Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Happyfish Refer #: 201 Subj: Re: lalala Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : Local H> I WAS A TEENAGE SWAMP-GIRL, H> H> or H> H> Yeah. That Lame Meet Thing. Gah.. I SHOULD have gone to the meet.. I managed to get no work done yesterday.. bah.. You all have to come to my Thai Dancing meet! ;) Date: 2:30 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 206 of 218 From: Official Zinnia Of Apec! Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Spit and Hiss Cohesion Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 13:17:54 BIT BAUD BYTE: Review ===================== This was probably one of the more consistantly fun meets I've ever been to. True, there were long periods of disagreement and stagnant sitting-down saying "what are we doing," but the scavenger hunt really was a good idea and so was the idea of recording gordon on reel-to-reel and splicing his words up over electroacoustic music. Extra points for showing up go to: Joanna fUP Dean and anyone with a car. Quotes: "Freudian slip -- is that where you think one thing and say another?" "You know those little boys they make me sweaty!" "I'd be, uh.... infected spice!" "and, I, uh, I smoked THIS REALLY BIG _BOWL_..." "I don't want to hear Rowan talk about serious things!" "I exist only to mock Barbara!" "Yo ass is gonna look like it's been in a carcrash!" "Metrotown is the reason for our existance! It is the zeitgeist of our nonconformity! We must embrace metrotown and learn from it." "Bit baud byte" "Eyes knees groin throat" Memorable artifacts: - the marshmallow slingshot made by Travi s and Jon and used to completely ruin the surroundings of Robson square - the OFFICIAL APEC PHALLUS - the OFFICIAL CONE OF APEC - the poppy wreathes at the war memorial that both scavenger groups refused to steal, despite temptation, on moral grounds. - dozens of specially-made tabdisks distributed by woody and rowan and responsible for their grave (although not unexpected) tardiness ... no originator From: Soema Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Pedantik Refer #: None Subj: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 13:59:08 Pe> missed the meet. It was FUCKING AWESOME. It was so awesome, I'm not even going to write a review. I'm going to bask in the afterglow, mark computer science labs and do my assignment. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12 --- Renegade v5-11 Exp Date: 3:18 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 211 of 218 From: Publius Enigma Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: tabmeet 51 - 4 year anniversary Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 15:02:46 here goes. tabmeet 51 - tabnet 4 year anniversary meet saturday, november 15th, 1997 09:30 i wake up. 10:00 call dean, phone is brought to him, he doesn't even wake up. 10:30 call dean on data line, phone is brought to him, he wakes up. 11:15 pick up dean, go to columbia skytrain station. 11:25 get on skytrain, by sheer coincidence courtisan is on the same train as us, wow. 11:55 get to granville, walk around lost in vancouver for 10 minutes or so. 12:10 finally find robson square. duh. who was at robson square (at one point or another): publius enigma, platinum, happyfish, eoanya, soema, sentience, zinnia rock, crowkeeper, fUP, geekboy, silent knight, colour, aphrael, slut, courtisan, and others. cthulu and zamfir worshipper showed up later. 12:15 sit around and draw things with chalk, anti-apec slogans are found everywhere, as is the numbers to some of our boards from tabmeet 2 year in chalk on the wall. 13:00 i'm a team captain? yippe. we pick teams for the scavenger hunt. 13:10 platinum, courtisan, zinnia rock, sentience, colour, fUP, slut, and myself are a team. whoa, travis bought 15 bottles of j0lt for every- body. glug glug. what was on the obscure scavenger hunt list made by brooke: signature of a man who thinks he's jesus, a traffic cone (bonus point for a non-orange one), 10 or more feet of rope that isn't yellow, something blue and smaller than a breadbox, a sculpture made of no less than fifteen plastic poppies, something that says "tab", a personality test, an invitation to something, a penny older than larry cocomile, a flyer from the communist party of canada, a red transfer, page 759/760 of the yellow pages, a bead of power, a torus, part of a computer, a terminal city, something fuzzy, an atapi cd-rom driver for win95 that still works after you install system commander, two different issues of the buzzer. 13:15 we go to the library, to the church of scientology, to spartacus, to hemp bc ($5 for a sticker?), under a road, to ward music. 14:30 ward music. jamu is an awesome dru mmer, he rules. i feel inadequet. travis and jovian are doing cool things with the drum machines and key boards. 14:45 pacific center. food. bathroom. we all cram into a picture booth and get four lovely pictures of courtisan, zinnia, and my shirt. nothing more. 15:10 two hours later we return with alot, but not enough of the items. the other group got the bead of power and rope. oh well, i still got some spiffy coloured duct tape. 15:15 cthulu and zamfir worshipper show up with kazoo's and a 'tabcase' full goodies. tabdisks for everyone, i got "shrooms", wicked. the foam b0nk bats are brought out and we all get violent. i lose both my legs due to soema. 15:45 marshmallows are everywhere. everywhere, stuck to my shoes, all over the ground, ack, what a mess. 15:55 we all leave, but we lose everyone, so platinum, geekboy, and slut are lost. i _bought_ a ring from a street vendor. 16:05 pit of doom. here is everybody. we chalk more tab propaganda, rowan and some other's play with a rope. merlin is here now too. 17:00 we get on the skytrain and go to homie land. 17:30 cthulu and i play kazoo's in the mall annoying everyone. 17:45 platinum and i go get food. 17:55 more kazoo playing. 18:05 we get gordon at johnny z's homie arcade. get on a skytrain. 18:15 the people on the skytrain think we're all really neat. 18:40 waterfront station. we sit around and do nothing. 19:00 we sit on a map in the ground. play kazoo's again. evan sure likes toilet humour. 19:30 we get a bus and decide to go to ubc to hang out at CiTR and get zinnia in trouble. as we're rolling along we see meija, he forgot his anniversary with zinnia. 20:00 here we are at the ubc sub building. look at all the anti-apec chalk stuff. neat. the godess of communism has been splattered with green paint. 21:00 this is cool. some dj here is playing really neat electronica stuff. 21:30 gordon, soema, and travis are making neat things. travis is learning how to use a reel to reel. 22:00 gordon phones in a request. barbara has one of those crazy upside down phones in her studio, neat. "...those hanson boys make me SWEATY..." 22:20 soema and i attempt to watch the dance competition. 22:30 more messing around with music. dean and i go around the sub building to pick up some college chicks. 22:35 we return unsuccessful. 22:40 after consultation with the transit goddess, dean and i figure out that there is a 75% chance that we can m ake it home tonight, luck permitting. 23:18 a lady tells me and dean how we're contributing to the spread of tuburculosis by spitting on the ground. remind me not to lick any sidewalks then. get ubc 10 bus. 23:45 get skytrain. dean and i simultaniously halucinate for no reason. 00:20 new west skytrain station. dean's drunk cousins are here. homies are here, great. one of the homies is showing us how tough he is. 00:30 we get our bus. 00:35 no some other guy is threatening us because dean's drunk cousin is too loud, so he's gonna "take it out on" us. her "two little boyfriends". people these days, so violent. 00:45 that same guy asks us if we want to buy some cwak w0k. seriously. 00:46 we decline the offer. 01:10 leave coquitlam, have interesting conversation about gangsta rap versus death metal. 01:25 get home. yay. dean and i bogue. 14:36 i finish this review. who showed up (after robson park): cthulu, zamfir worshipper, beatle, soema's friend, meija (sort of), other people maybe. eoanya - thank you for the power bead. cthulu - thank you for the b0nk "shrooms" disk. zinnia - thank you for letting us see CiTR. slut - thank you for the (2) jolt cola's. happyfish - thank you for the use of your chalk and the spiff red duct tape. everyone else, thank-you for coming. eOf. Date: 8:05 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 225 of 228 From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Waited At Robson For An Hour Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 19:16:57 > I love how you're posting this at 2 pm. > > > > BUY AN ALARM CLOCK, PIGFUCKER. Maybe if he didn't set his clock three hours fast... "Hey Rowan, it's 1:30 already!" "no, it's just 11:30.." "Oh.." and none of the heaters in Rowan's house HEAT! THEY JUST BLOW COLD AIR AND FREEZE MY FEET OFF! --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 225 of 228 Reading : Date: 8:05 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 226 of 228 From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Happyfish Refer #: None Subj: Re: lalala Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 19:17:24 H> But it was probably more fun without all you unwatched heathens anyhow. H> H> Not only am I a famous artist, but I have an emergency envelope! I took a 'Beware of Little Deaths' one myself.. --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 226 of 228 Reading : Date: 8:05 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 227 of 228 From: Happyfish Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Zamfir Worshipper Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 19:28:09 ZW> and none of the heaters in Rowan's house HEAT! THEY JUST BLOW COLD AIR AND ZW> FREEZE MY FEET OFF! KICK THEIR ASS! --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 227 of 228 Reading : Date: 8:05 pm Sun Nov 16, 1997 Number : 228 of 228 From: Happyfish Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Cthulu Refer #: None Subj: Re: lalala Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 19:33:55 C> But did you get offended? Yep, dwight's still as offensive as ever. --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 205 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Pedantik Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 18:59:45 þ quoting: Pedantik þ to: All P> missed the meet. P> P> sorry. fucking dick! i have the tab disk of ORGIES! --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 205 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 206 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 19:02:26 well i will post my review later i am going to spring heeled jack now boo --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 206 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 207 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Yohimbe Refer #: None Subj: Re: Boring Fucking Politi Replies: 1 Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:38:12 Y> not every sunday.. just most.. i may miss tonight, because I want to go se Y> Spring Heel Jack and finish a term paper.. the chameel-eon smells bad. --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 207 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 208 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Cthulu Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:38:24 C> All 4 or 5 of us who will be left 8) --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 208 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 209 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Cthulu Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:38:40 C> We'll also end up at the Whip Cafe tonight. C> C> er.. C> C> supposedly. C> C> All 4 or 5 of us who will be left 8) AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT! --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 209 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 210 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:43:46 AND THEN! I SMOKED THIS REALLY BIG BOWL!! --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 210 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 211 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:43:52 AND THEN!!! --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 211 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 212 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:44:05 uh I can't really remember what happened after that. --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 212 of 236 Reading : Date: 7:27 am Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 213 of 236 From: Otnooishphoo Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Nov 97 23:44:12 BUT I KNOW IT WAS COOL! --- (echo).0 * Origin: (node) (31:808/13) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 213 of 236 Reading : Date: 6:02 pm Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 225 of 236 From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Happyfish Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 17 Nov 97 17:58:37 ZW> and none of the heaters in Rowan's house HEAT! THEY JUST BLOW COLD AIR AND ZW> FREEZE MY FEET OFF! H> H> KICK THEIR ASS! I would have, but I think if I had tried to my feet would have shattered. Date: 6:02 pm Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 227 of 236 From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Le Meet.. Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 17 Nov 97 18:22:34 ZAMFIR WORSHIPPER'S ELONGATED-4TH-YEAR-ANNIVERSARY-MEET REVIEW! Who was there: Happyfish Travis Cthulu Agata ConMan Gordon Platinum Jamu Geek Barbara FuP Anna Yohimbe Myk Whyte John Joanna and some other people who I'm not sure about. PROLOGUE BEGINS: Prologue, day 1: Thursday, November 13th Step 1. Go to Writing Class with Rowan. Step 2. Drag Rowan to my house to get stuff/food. Step 3. Go to Rowan's house, ostensibly to prepare Tabdisks. Step 4. Spend very little time preparing Tabdisks. Step 5. Don't sleep. Prologue, day 2: Friday, November 14th Step 1. Don't wake up. Step 2. Go to Orthodontist's appointment at unholy hour of 9:45. Step 3. Attempt to meet Rowan at Benny's. Step 4. Rowan is late. Do not be surprised at all. Step 5. Meet people from ex-high school.. discuss futility of high school. Step 6. Rowan shows up. Gives foolish excuse about his piano teacher detaining him (to play the piano? ha!) Step 7. Go downtown to get stuff. Step 8. Go to Ward Music. Look at interesting things. Find sheet music for incompetent Rowan. (Oh look.. it was in the Cello section!) Rowan buys kazoo. Step 9. Go to some other store and buy Official Tabdisks (tm)! Step 10. Go back to Rowan's. Step 11. Hey look, Chris is here. (I guess that means he's on that list uptop.. whoops.) Chris and Rowan work on Tabdisks while I search Rowan's tapes for elite warezZz. Step 12. Rowan goes to some lame movie that I cannot afford. Step 13. Daice/Jeremy shows up for no apparent reason at Rowan's house, while Rowan is still not home. I let him in (whoops.) Step 14. Play Darksun2 and wait for Rowan. Meanwhile.. enter Rowan's FATHER! RF: "Hey.. did Rowan go out and abandon you here?" ME: "" RF: "We don't really like strangers alone in our house.." Jeremy looks guilty. ME: "" RF: "" ME: "" RF: "and Jeannie already had to do Rowan's dishes earlier!" ME: "Oh.. I'll do the dishes.. some of them were mine.." RF: "No no.. I'm sure they were all Rowan's.. I know you never eat.." FADE OUT. Step 15. Rowan shows up. Warn him of Father's impending doom. Step 16. Rowan reveals he is here to abduct me (and thus Jeremy) into a car full of: Chris, Soema, Michelle, Anna, and himself. Step 17. Abduction party splits up into three cars and meets at The Grind (on Main and 25th?? No, I don't think so..) Chris: "It's right on the corner of Main & 25th! Southeast corner!" Me: "Chris.. I know all the corners of Ma in & 25th.. there is no coffee shop there!" Step 18. Hang out at The Grind. Rowan tries to play the piano, but the management stops him. "There are people upstairs.. we don't want to lose our twenty-four hour license." Bah on them! Piano is good! Crazy woman upstairs is bad! Step 19. Go back to Rowan's at 3am. Step 20. Work on Tabdisks. Work on TabBookList. Step 21. Sleep, foolishly. Step 22. Wake up at 11:30. OH NO! Step 23. Wake up Rowan. "Did you finish the Tabdisks yet?" Step 24. Rowan reveals he has not finished the Tabdisks! Chaos ensues! Step 25. Finish Tabdisks! They aren't even formatted yet! The files aren't even finished yet! I haven't done the labels yet! B0nk! B0nk! Step 26. Step 27. The Tabdisks are finally finished, complete with elite labels. "Oh man, we're going to miss the scavenger hunt!" "Nah.. they haven't even started..." (somewhere between Step 25 and 27 Travis had called and had known nothing of the Scavenger Hunt (Around 1:00)..) Step 28. Go to Robson Square! MEET BEGINS! We arrive at Robson square and find... 1. COOL APEC CHALK GRAFFITI! 2. NO TABBERS! 3. NO DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO FIND TABBERS! We conclude that they have started the Scavenger Hunt. We decide to Hunt the Scavengers! Cleverly avoiding the Pin Guy... "What are those things for?" "Uh.. they're for hitting people.." "Well! Don't even think about using those things on me 'cause I've got in there and if you try anything I majored in Wrestling at SFU and why won't you give me any pins to help the homeless what kind of person are you..." "Uh.. I already gave you a pin.." "blah blah blah blah!" ... well, maybe not so cleverly. We circle around a block or so, I get pizza. Rowan remembers that they were going to meet back at Robson Square around 3.. it is around 3.. we head back to Robson Square... --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) [--tab- alt.cabbage.die.die] 227 of 236 Reading : Date: 6:02 pm Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 228 of 236 From: Happyfish Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : Zamfir Worshipper Refer #: None Subj: Re: i Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 17 Nov 97 18:26:28 ZW> I would have, but I think if I had tried to my feet would have shattered. Wah, my clogs wore out, and the birk store has no more yellow ones in my size. I have two pairs of normal shoes from my mother's closet now. MY TOES ARE BEING CRUSHED TO DEATH! WHEN I LOOK DOWN, I CAN BARELY DISTINGUISH MY FEET FROM THE GROUND! THEY'RE IN EARTH TONES! m-must.. go.. to.. germany.. --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Le Meet Part II Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 17 Nov 97 19:54:43 We return to Robson Square and find: 1. APEC SIDEWALK GRAFFITI 2. TABBERS! We see the Tabbers from above, before they see us. We hide, and plan our entrance: Step 1. Finish my pizza. Step 2. Readjust my mirrored sunglasses and tophat. Step 3. Give Rowan his kazoo. Step 4. Make sure the Tabcase is not going to fall apart. Step 5. Begin walking into the Square as Rowan plays the Peter Gunn theme song on his kazoo. Walk to the beat of the music, glaring straight ahead. Step 6. Impress everyone with my soundtracked-entrance. Step 7. Put down the tabcase and open it in a professional manner. Show everyone the Homer Simpson-meets-Pamela Anderson printout. They are scared. Then we get out the Tabdisks! We distribute them! There aren't enough people for all of them to get distributed! Rowan: "And the last disk is reserved for... Bob Eden!" Me: "If he shows up..." I got the Tabdisk of Debate -- Daryl gets the Tabdisk of Hate. How appropos! Chaos again ensues.. I receive a bottle of J0lt from Travis. Joanna steals my bottle of J0lt so I steal Rowan's bottle of J0lt. "Hey, where's my J0lt?" - Rowan "Woody stole yours because I stole his." - Joanna "Awwwww.." - Rowan I remove the multicoloured, fruitflavoured marshmallows from the Tabcase, rip it open, and dump numerous marshmallows on Soema's head in revenge for his earlier bombardment. MARSHMALLOW CHAOS!!!!!!! There are slingshots made out of strange orange rubber and throwing-of-marshmallows-into-people's-mouths and it goes on for ever and ever and there are boffers and there are battles and there is whipping and SUDDENLY... IT'S ALL OVER. And Robson Square is coated in a serene layer of multicoloured marshmallows. "Uh.. these are bio-degradable, aren't they?" -- Someone who's name/handle I cannot remember. Very sorry. Joanna and Happyfish decide that it is time to go to The Pit of Doom. They leave without everyone else.. everyone follows them (well, at one time or another..).. we see some crazy busker on the steps of the Art Gallery tied up in rope and a straightjacket... he is snazzy. We arrive at Robson Square! Chris is there! "Hey.. how did Chris get that cut on his face?" - Many people.. "It was a masturbation accident." - Soema "Yeah, he was trying it with his left and everything went wrong.." - FuP More people slowly show up at the Pit of Doom. Barbara, Joanna and Brooke all decide to leave. They take Jovian. "We're going to do girl things! Jove is an honourary girl!" - Barbara More people show up at the Pit of Doom, and much craziness is had. Chalk things are drawn.. "She turned me into a NEWT... I got better." .. and the rope gotten for the scavenger hunt is used to create Modern Art. The rope is lowered through the Pit of Doom, and the noose-like end is wrapped around Barbara's neck as she lays on the grate. IT'S SO MEANINGFUL! Barbara remains confused and ignorant of the artist's plight throughout. Time passes and we all head off to METROTOWN (ostensibly to abduct Beatle.) We arrive, and head for the TabBench, which looks particularily lame because it looks like all the other benches and yet, and yet it has the deepest primordial significance, as does Metrotown.. explained by Soema: "Why do we come to Metrotown? Because.. just look around.. Metrotown is the reason we exist.. " We all sit at the TabBench for awhile playing innumerable kazoo duets (I have no idea where the second one came from).. I walk to the McDonalds with Soema so he can point out all the pathetic people he knows who still work there. It is very spooky. They have glass walls in the McDonalds and you can see all the people working! eeeeek! Soema explains how to make a Big Mac.. "lettuce, onions, then two pickles.. not touching.." We run away to the games store. I start juggling. "I wonder how many people I can get to accuse me of shoplifting" - Soema "Hey you! Stop shoplifting!" - a customer in the store (immediately.) We run away from the games store. I stop juggling. We go back to get food -- Soema leaves to convince people to wait for me to get food. Food takes forever.. stupid J. Kwinter hot dogs! We head to Johnny Zeeeeee's Arcade to retrieve Otnoooooosomethingorother. Let us call him Gordon. Abduction successful, we wonder where the heck we're going to go next. We decide on Waterfront station, in case we want to go to the IMAX film. We make people on the Skytrain laugh -- my hat gets continually crumpled and passed around from person to person. "SEEEEEEXXX! GET YOUR SEEEXXX!" - Soema "Mike, stop selling sex on the skytrain!" - Me. Arriving at Waterfront, we have no idea where we are going. Meanwhile, we have lost Jamu and FuP, and some other people, and Travis has run back to get the rope from the grate at the Pit of Doom and Chris has gone somewhere to move his car. Travis and Chris arrive, we find out the IMAX film is something lame about the Amazon and Alaska instead of the hoped-fo r Cosmic Voyage.. "Let's go to UBC!" - A few people "Nooooo!" - Travis Travis is eventually convinced, but not before we make a sidetrip to the Map of the World and loom around it acting like spooky gargoyles. Whee. While other people bus to UBC, Joanna, I, Soema and Gordon return to Metrotown to get his car. Soema starts reading Hemingway on the skytrain.. enter drunk couple! DC: "Don't stop reading! Don't stop! Keep reading!" Myk: "But there's no more.. I finished that story.." DC: "Keep reading!" At this point the drunk woman starts asking Myk strange questions about his eligibility for marriage to her daughter... "Do you go to . That's where my daughter goes." "Is this how you pick up girls?" "What religion are you?" ... well okay, maybe I have no idea why she was asking these questions, but it could have been marriage! At this point we escape the drunk people for Metrotown, find Mike's car, use the Bread Garden washroom, and return to UBC. I half-sleep in the car as Gordon plays demos of songs he has written for Makeshift. They are tripp0. Arriving at UBC, myself and Joanna decide that we are tired and go to sleep in the Conversation Pit. Tabbers keep showing up at 20 minutes intervals to wake us up and tell us they are in CiTR. In fact, they all say the same thing.. over and over.. every time they wake us up.. "We're in CiTR upstairs.. just knock on the door." "Everyone's upstairs in CiTR.. knock on the door and they'll let you in." "We're going upstairs to CiTR." "Everyone upstairs is in the booths (in CiTR) so they can't hear me knocking and let me in." This continues for an hour and a half, at which point we decide to go upstairs to CiTR and knock on the door so they can let us in. Unfortunately, the door is unlocked so we just have to let ourselves in. What do we find? Room 1. Brooke and PocoPeople on couches. Gordon on the phone calling in to Booth 2, requesting Hanson. "Can you play that Hanson song? The one about love.. you know.. the Hanson song.. about love? Oh...oh.. Where's the love! That's what it's called.. can you play that? Those little boys make me so sweaty..." Booth 1. It is dark and full of Rowan and Anna (and later Joanna) having personal conversations that I am not allowed to hear. --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: meet my feet, you elitist bastard. (31:3373/1) Date: 7:57 pm Mon Nov 17, 1997 Number : 232 of 236 From: Zamfir Worshipper Base : --tab- alt.cabbage.die.die To : All Refer #: None Subj: Le Meet Part III!!!! Replies: None Stat: Sent Origin : 17 Nov 97 20:10:41 Booth 2. Travis and Barbara and Myk (and later Brooke and me and Gordon) are recording Gordon/Travis calling in pretending to be crazy and mixing it with psychadelic electronica sounds and GeekTalk and other weird stuff.. "The voices in my head are telling me to do things that I don't want to.. they want me to play the Smurfs music!" - Travis "What's wrong with that.. Smurfs music is happy, isn't it.. they have that song.." - Gordon "la la la la la la la la la la la.." - Gordon and Myk in unison.. "NOOOOO SMUUUUURRRFFS!!! NOOOOOO SMUUUUURRRRFFSSS!!!!" - Travis "Hey, listen buddy.. you dissed the Smurfs.. so you can just go to hell!" - Gordon Approximately 30 minutes of crazy mixing later, we have 1700 seconds of crazy shit (tm) which should be turned into a 170 meg .wav. file anytime now by Travis... or something.. After the Crazy Mixing is done and the Poco fellows have left and the CiTR crappy rap show has been replaced by the CiTR Banghra show we retrieve the people from the dark Booth 1 and fleeeeeeee... to BENNY'S! Benny's is very crowded. There is also no Audrey there (apparently there was supposed to be, although we were never really sure about that.) We sit outside. It is very cold outside. We find seats inside. It is less cold inside. Discussions are had concerning Rowan's inability to be serious; discussions are had concerning Rowan's inability to say anything to Barbara that is not mocking her; discussions are had concerning how the seduction of women is made easy by their abused position within society; discussions are had concerning the abuse of women and whether change in the status of women within the next millenia is plausible; discussions are had concerning when we can go back to Rowan's and go to sleep. A collaborative story is begun. It sucks a lot (but I will post it anyways.) Eventually, people fade into the darkness of leaving and finally everyone decides it is time to go. I, Joanna, Travis and Rowan proceed to Rowan's house. "Dibs on Rowan's bed.. and Rowan!" - Joanna Attempting to sleep at Rowan's house is made difficult by: 1. Joanna having stolen his bed with it's warm blankets. 2. The fact that his parents are cheapskates and won't replace the broken furnace. 3. The fact that the spot heaters Rowan's parents have purchased in lieu of a furnace don't actually HEAT ANYTHING, but instead just blow cold air around. 4. The fact that Rowan's room has a very hard floor. I sort of fall asleep and sort of don't until about 6, at which point I do. Meet Day 2, November 16th: I wake up. The clock says 1:30. Rowan is half-asleep, pretending to talk to Chris on the phone about going to Artropolis. "Rowan! It's 1:30!" - Me "No it's not.. my clock is 3 hours fast.." - Rowan "Oh." We go back to sleep instead of leaving for Robson Square at 12:00. We are once again woken up by Brooke threatening to Kick Rowan's ass over the phone for his not being at Robson's Square at 12:00. I decide that the time has come to go home. Instead, I read some of Rowan's old comics and warm my feet by sticking them under the covers of his bed. Eventually the novelty wears off and I go home. Joanna also goes home. Rowan (apparently) goes to Artropolis.