HOW TO GET TO MY HOUSE

I live at 2428 W.7th ave. (in Vancouver)

It's a green house the end of a long driveway. There is another green
house directly in front of it, please don't knock on their door.
They're sort of grumpy. Remember, 2428. 8 8 8 8 8, not 6.

If you know where this is, great, skip to the stuff at the end.

If you're taking the bus:

method (a): get yourself on a 10 UBC or a 9 Alma westbound bus, and get
off at Balsam and Broadway. This is after the IGA and before the big
pink Safeway. This is after Arbutus and before McDonald. (Just ask the
subliminal message: fish are good. i lik fish.
driver to tell you when you get to Balsam) From this stop, walk down Balsam
until you hit seventh. Turn left, and my house will be on this block, on
the south side of the street.

method (b): get yourself on a 7 Dunbar or a 4 UBC westbound bus. Get off
at Balsam and Broadway. This is right beside a Macs, just past a Safeway.
It is after Arbutus, and before McDonald. (Just ask the driver to tell you
when you get to Balsam) From the bus stop, cross the street and walk down
Balsam until you get to seventh. Turn right, and my house will be on this
block, on the south side of the street.

method (c): get yourself on a 22 Knight or Macdonald that's heading in the
appropriate direction, get off at seventh, walk along seventh (to the east)
until you hit Larch, and my house will be in the next block.

method (d): get yourself on a 14 Arbutus or Hastings that's heading in the
right direction, get off at Broadway and Arbutus, walk west along Broadway
until you get to Balsam, then follow the directions in (a) to find my house.

method (e) get yourself on a 99 UBC. Get off at the MacDonald stop.
You'll be in front of a big pink inflatable safeway. Go to your right.
Walk up broadway until you see Benny's Bagels. Turn left on to larch
street. Walk down larch until you get to 7th avenue. Turn right on to
7th. Walk up the block, until you find my house.

method (I don't know what those buses are, but I can get to a skytrain):
Get off at either Granville or Broadway. If you get off at Broadway, catch
subliminal message: come to my house
a 9 Alma and see method (a), or the 99 beeline and see methos (e). If you
get off at Granville, take either the 10 UBC, the 7 Dunbar, the 14 Arbutus
or the 4 UBC, and follow the directions above.

method (I don't live in the transit system): sorry, can't help you.

If you're driving or being driven:

Get yourself on Broadway, then get yourself to Balsam and Broadway, which
is past Arbutus (which is way past granville) and before Macdonald (which is
before Alma) and then follow the directions in method (a) for getting from
there to my house.

If you are taking a helicopter: there is a landing pad on the roof. Radio
me for instructions.

If you are using your telepathic powers: Think of a blue fish. Fish. Fish.
Now imagine the fish swimming in to a green house. House. House. Now
teleport yourself. If you get stuck somewhere else, use the address: beta
beta three glub blub green to get here.
                ^^^^no I'm not drowning, before an argument ensues

Some other way of getting to my house or just confused about one of those:
Call me. (734-1909)